Tuesday

Ugh...

So I can't wait till the weekend but even though I say that I'm pretty sure I won't be doing anything productive. I guess the X-mas blues are starting to come early for me. I just don't know what to do with myself. I've been knitting more since I let writing go and I've finished two small projects already. My tea cozy and another scarf. I guess I'm just trying to get rid of my yarn so I can work on other projects. Hopefully sometime this month I'll be able to work on some of my old projects to get them out of the way and finish emptying out my yarn stash. Working on new and somewhat difficult patterns seems to be alleviating some of the boredom but I'm still having my moments. I'm currently working on a lace headband and so far its working out. I still try to write every now and then but I can't seem to focus on what I need to focus on. I know I need to work on settings but I'm still having trouble getting what I see in my mind down on paper. I just need to keep at it like every other hobby I've got. At times I just wish things were how they were a few years ago. I just seemed to be less troubled and more comfortable in my own skin. Now I feel as if I can't ever do anything right and I'm constantly worrying about stuff I can't change or fix. I'm still feeling trapped even though I'm not. I keep trying to do anything to take away from feeling like that but it seems like I can never get away from that feeling. I'm trying to take one day at a time but some days are harder than others. I'm sick of crying all of the time but I just can't seem to get my emotions out any other way. Talking about it only seems to lessen the situation for about an hour or so but whatever I say doesn't seem to stick around long enough so that changes can be made. I still feel frustrated and out of place no matter what I say or do. I always seem to keep going in circles.

Hump day

So making a little progress with my novel. Still have a bunch of editing to do but I hope to break 10,000 words tonight or get damn near close to it! heh heh So far I'm liking the way this version of my story is turning out. Just have to keep trying to connect scenes so they make sense. Sometimes the creative process really urks me. *sighs*

In other news...yay for the new pres!

In other other news most of my books and knitting have been placed on hold for the novel but I try to sneak in some of each when I can.

Ugh...back to writing!

Tuesday

Well last night I had a little breakthrough with my writing. After making some progress finally with the first chapter I remembered some of the parts I needed for my new story were in my old one! So now for some of the parts that I'm currently writing I just have to edit the hell out of my old story so that it'll fit in with my new one. I'll be able to get the word count up a least a little more today. The joys of editing...*sighs*

Monday

Well have it all planned out to either hang out here after work or go to Books a Million to write some more. That's the plan at least. I think last night I made up a little from my lack of writing on Saturday. Sure I didn't write as many words as I would have liked to but I did manage to crack through the little block I was having. Hopefully today will be better!