Time to Reflect

After talking and calming down a bit; I feel the cycle starting to crack a little. I still don't know if things are going to be different in the long run but I'm trying to take things one day at a time. All I can do is try to push through the pain so to speak and keep going.

I've finally been able to get back into watching anime. It took me a while to find some series that I could get into. While I'm waiting for some series to update I've been reading the Gossip Girl series and getting back into my sock knitting after taking a break from bigger projects.

If all goes well I'll actually be able to keep these socks for myself. Just need to figure out where to put some increases so I'll be able to knit these into a knee sock length.


Endless Cycle

Starting to feel trapped again. I'm sort of stuck in a cycle that won't be ending anytime soon. So far it's only going to work and coming home to kind of be stuck in one room. It's usually okay for the weekends for catching up on things but during the week it's just starting to wear me down. I mostly say this because I know that at work for the most part I'll be stuck doing a big tedious project then coming home to do nothing major but sit in a room until I get tired enough to fall asleep then start the whole thing over again.

I don't think I'll be able to do anything right anymore. I'm sick of trying to express my feelings and only feeling like that things never really change when I do. I don't know how I can say what I need to say and say it in such a way that people will hear me.

I guess I'll try to take more time to sort stuff out again and see if I can find some sort of different outcome.

I guess I'd be able to take some things a little bit better but at work I'm still kind of burning the candle at both ends. I'm still working on a big project; where I hope today that I'll be able to finish the first part of it; only to start on a second one right away if all goes well. I just wish there was more help for me when I'm working on my project. I know that helping out at the desk is part of my job but if my other co-workers want me to finish this big job that none of them seem to want to do you'd think that they'd try to help me out by kind of letting it go that I can't really help out at the desk like I used to until it gets done. Again I'm just trying to suck it up and work through it until it's over with like everything that comes to work sometimes...sometimes you just have to get through it.