Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!!!

So far today isn't starting out so great for me unfortunately. I woke up twice during the night and just made it to the bathroom before semi-puking. Wasn't full blown but still kind of unnerving considering I didn't really stuff myself that night. I've been good about eating more during the day but I don't know what's causing my stomach to be so upset. It's been a few hours since I've really woken up and I still feel somewhat queasy. I think today tea will be best friend and I'll try to avoid eating big meals. ^-^;

*2 hour delay*

So now I'm at work feeling a little bit better. It kind of helps being dressed like a cat girl. :) Things were going normally so far for a Friday. Not too busy, not too many people...the usual slow day when I get there. But one of my co-workers apparently taking the cue from me (since I'm the only one in the whole staff that decided to dress up) and decided he wanted to be the Joker so he took a couple of permanent markers and proceeded to draw on his face...*sighs* We all hope that it'll eventually come off...if not we'll be very amused come Monday.

*hour or so later*

Some other employees came in wearing costumes I saw another fellow cat girl. My co-worker asked her where she got her white face paint to which she replied she got it at the store just before she came in. Needless to say he went off with her to get the white face paint to complete his joker look. When he came back I nearly spit out my tea that I was drinking because as soon as I saw him I couldn't stop laughing. So now he looks like a demented Joker with the runny melty face. I'm just happy I sit in front of him because if he's in my line of sight I can't help but laugh. It's actually making up for the crappy start to my morning. XD

When I get home my plan is to finish going through my cd's so I have my music ready for this weekend. Got a good stack so far this morning just have to pick through a few more cabinets to find the one's I think would really help me out more. Other than I'm going to try to watch all of the shows that I've been tapping so that I'll have NO distractions on Saturday. I even figured out a mini plan to make things (hopefully) easier on me when it comes to writing. I'm starting to get anxious! X3


Weekend almost here

So last night I went to bed with yet another headache. I don't know what it could be from. I've been going to bed it seems earlier and earlier each night, so I'm sure it's not from lack of sleep. Course with the cold mornings it's really hard to want to go into work sometimes. *shivers*

I can't wait to get started on writing my novel! I managed to finish the outline on Wednesday so on Saturday since I don't have any other plans coming up I can stay home and write. I just have to be sure to keep the tv off and have some soft writing friendly music playing in the background to help motivate me. I think tonight I'll go through my cd's and start picking stuff out. Of course that'll be a whole other adventure of trying to find cd's. ^^;

And wouldn't you know as soon as I start to focus on one thing other things that I've been neglecting start to creep up on me wanting attention too. I've been sort of knitting a few rounds of my socks that I started months ago. So they're kind of begging my attention to finish them...or at least get to the part where I can start working on the heels. ^^; I don't think I was helping myself by watching all of those you tube clips of other knitters and their techniques for doing stuff. I'll just have to pace myself so I spend the majority of my time writing and as a break; treat myself to working on my socks. Again...that's always the 'plan'.



Well this weekend I had a lot of fun. On Friday night after work K and I met up with some co-workers to view the History of Halloween from an Astronomer's point of view. Was very educational. Only part that semi sucked about it was the late hour that we had to be there. It was entertaining so that made up for the late hour. Though it was kind of fun to poke K to wake him up. heh heh

Then Saturday I went to see Saw V with an old friend of mine. The movie was good just not as gorey as the last ones. This movie just seemed to be kind of a filler for the next one. It was fun to hang out with my friend because it was one thing that we didn't get to do in high school. After the movie we picked up K and went out to eat. We had fun just sitting around and talking...course my friend and I had fun picking on each other. :)

Sunday K and I were suppose to go to a play but we were both w0rn out by the earlier events that we decided to stay in and watch the live action version of Honey and Clover. So far a very good series. Can't wait till it ends.

Other than that earlier in the week I signed up to do the National Novel Writing Month contest next month. I'm hoping that'll give me some motivation to finish at least one of the stories that I've been working on.



Yay! It's the weekend...in a few more hours! *happy dance*

I managed to lift some of the weight off of me my talking to my supervisor about the situation I've been dealing with in the mornings and she was like 'why didn't you tell me?!?' I was like I thought things would change with my other co-worker being there but it hasn't so I came to you. She was very understanding and she went along with my suggestion about coming in early (which I had been doing anyway) to make sure things were taken care of before we open up in the mornings. She also said that she herself would come in earlier to help me out. Which is awesome but I'll still make sure to take care of the bigger issues we've got in the morning before she gets here. It'll just be nice to have a second person there to help take some of the pressure off me.

Other than that I'm still kind of in a blah mood. I started reading a new book, mostly during my breaks at work, but haven't really been reading it at home. So far it seems to be a good story just can't bring myself to read while I'm at home for some reason.

Still haven't really found the energy either to work on some of my knitting projects. The socks are still calling to me but I haven't managed to pick them up to start knitting. Pretty much the only thing I've managed to do knitting-wise is look for more patterns that I might be interested in knitting. At least I'm not looking at the yarn which would just cause me to buy more without a purpose so I've been trying to stay away from yarn porn.



Well things continue to be the same as they have been the past few weeks here at work. *sighs* I've now come to the understanding that I'm really going to be the only one opening up in the mornings now. So far this week I've managed to do everything that needs to be done before the others eventually drag themselves here. It's frustrating yes but at least I know I'm doing a good job even when the people that are supposed to notice aren't there. *sighs* It just sucks. I kind of feel like I'm being taken advantage of even though I know this is my job. *shrugs* I guess I'm just worn out doing more than my share of the work most of the time. I just have to keep holding on and hopefully a full time position is in my future to make all of this worth while.



Well still feeling kind of out of it but I'm doing better than I've been the past few weeks. It's helped a little chatting with random people and old friends to take some of the monotony out of my days. It was fun catching up with my old friends James this weekend. We swapped stories of the libraries that we're working at and came to the conclusion that for the most part its still the same drama no matter where you're at. XD

Other than that K and I went to the play Our Town SCC students presented. I thought the play was awesome. It was nice to get out and see a play. I didn't realize how much I missed the theater vibe. It was also a nice distraction to get me out of the house.

Good stuff that's been going on for me: I got treated to a cheese danish from one of my co-workers and there were cupcakes in the break room! So I felt like a princess today! X3 Well either that or I'm still high on sugar and caffeine...I wasn't able to get a Coke Zero and all they had left was Cherry Coke...^^;



I'm an Ingrid!

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!


You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

  • * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.

  • * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.

  • * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.

  • * Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.

  • * Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

  • * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level

  • * my ability to establish warm connections with people

  • * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life

  • * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor

  • * being unique and being seen as unique by others

  • * having aesthetic sensibilities

  • * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

  • * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair

  • * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved

  • * feeling guilty when I disappoint people

  • * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me

  • * expecting too much from myself and life

  • * fearing being abandoned

  • * obsessing over resentments

  • * longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often

  • * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games

  • * are very sensitive

  • * feel that they don't fit in

  • * believe they are missing something that other people have

  • * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.

  • * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood

  • * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents

  • * help their children become who they really are

  • * support their children's creativity and originality

  • * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings

  • * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective

  • * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy


Feeling better...I think...

So a couple more days go by and I feel strangely good.

Still bummed that I'm busting my ass here at work in the mornings with limited help. Even though I feel like I'm struggling, my supervisor told me the other day she was happy that she made the switch in hours between me and another co-worker. So as long as she's happy that's all that matters. That and with the way that my hours are now I get to leave earlier and avoid some of the afternoon drama.

Personal things are starting to look better. I got a call from my mother last night for no reason. I guess she might have been feeling my vibe from our last phone call. It was another generic call about how things were going and 'I was just thinking about you' and the usual crap. Though the only drawback was that of another random comment after she again asked if the wedding was on that 'that make makes me very happy'...I'm like okay...I still may be a little bit of a wreck but as long as 'shes' happy everythings all right. *sighs* I knew I shouldn't have called her and started this mess but at the time I felt like that was my only option. Which is kind of funny considering she keeps telling me that I'm always welcome there and one of the few times I actually take her up on the offer it cause all this drama?!? Well on my end at least. *sighs and takes deep breath* Just still looking forward to playing with Ozzy to make this all worth it!

On the knitting front I stared working on the Unshaped Shrug pattern again with some slight modifications. This time I'm actually using the pattern! It's working along quick and easy for the most part though after a little creative adding of stitches I managed to get my modifications to fit along with the pattern. So much so that you can't really tell that I messed up since I caught it early on. :) Slowly but surely I'm clearing out my yarn stash. Though I still have to get back to work on my socks. ^^;



Well I thought things were starting to get a little better but I was wrong.

I made the phone call to my folks to ask them what they were doing for Thanksgiving. As a way to help solve my little cabin fever problem and actually be a good daughter and visit them besides on just Christmas. Things during the call were going okay. I was only questioned a couple of times about why I was coming. My mother immediately asked if things were okay between me and K and I'm like yes. I just wanted to get away. Then she's like 'you know things do get rough at times, you just gotta stick it out' and 'you guys are still getting married next year, right?' All to which I assured her that nothings changed I just needed to get away for a little bit. Then she was like okay. After that we chatted for a little bit more and then hung up. About 15 minutes later she called back with confirmation about when they were coming to pick me up and drop me back home. While we were finalizing that my mother slips in the comment that 'you're not coming down here with attitude are you?' I'm like no. 'Good that means you won't be hold up in your room not talking to anyone, right?' Again I'm like no I go wherever. After a few more minutes we hung up again and I just lot it. I was crying again because she always knows how to jab at a sore spot that didn't need to be pressed. Here I am just relieved that I can chill and hang out at home with them and Ozzy (their dog) and just be. But what I get is accusations that I'm running away from my problems and that I've got to have a better attitude while I'm around them. It just seems I can't win no matter what I do or where I go. Now I've got to pretend like I didn't get attacked yet again keep up the happy front when I eventually go down there in November. I can't cancel now because then she'll know she got to me in some way and will interrogate me further about it. I guess it was kind of random for me to ask if I could come down there. I usually don't but I did honestly just on top of wanting to get away I did want to spend time with them and now because of that comment I'm yet again feeling out of place and kind of unwelcome. I know I'm over reacting but still why would someone say that to a person? It happened in the past and I thought I was getting better when I was hanging around them but apparently I haven't changed in their eyes.

It's just another frustrating thing to add to the list of things that have been bugging me over the past few weeks. Now I really feel like I've got no place to go to where I feel like I can be myself, not that I even remember what that is anymore. I guess I need to find some place with no distractions and no one around and just be to think or not to think and try to get back to myself.

I hope I can find that place soon cause I'm sick of crying myself to sleep at night.