Better days

Well things are starting to look good again.

After having a rough couple of weeks I think things are starting to work themselves out. For the most part I know it was mostly my doing because I wouldn't speak what was on my mind. After finally doing so things have started to click more between us. Which is good considering the tenseness I was feeling for the past few weeks. I don't know why it's so hard for me to express my feelings to him about whatever situation is going on. I guess it just goes back to knowing that in the past no one really paid any attention to my feelings when I did try to express them that I just stopped. I've been trying my hardest to get them out there sometimes it works others it doesn't but I just got to tell myself to keep trying. I'm just happy that the air is finally clear between us again so I can enjoy his company again. I didn't realize how much I'd distanced myself from him because of his words and my outright denial of confronting them. Such is life, just got to keep dealing and working through everything as it comes.

On a little happier news, I'm almost done with a new shawl. I kind of picked it up because I was bored with all of the wip's I'd been working so of course I decided to pick up and knit something new. I've got 3 more repeats to do before I start on the edging. Should take me a few more hours to complete and with that pattern it helped me use up the last of this LB Homespun yarn that I didn't know what else to do with.



I'm in kind of a blah mood for some reason.

I really don't know why. Things for the most part are going all right.

I managed to finish one book and read another this weekend while continuing to work on my first lace project. So far still going smoothly since I've been careful to make sure I catch all of the stitches. Though I should have planned ahead more for my first lace project. Using a boucle yarn to start out wasn't the best move but in the long run if I can master doing lace with that I can use any yarn! X3 It's still looking like the picture so I'm happy.

Other than that I've been trying to pick up past projects ie. my 2 socks at a time and the first front panel for the cardigan I was working on months ago. It's hard to try and stay focused on kitting either of those because for the most part of both projects I'm working in just stockinette stitch so it's kind of boring at the moment. I kind of want to knit something else (that's why I'm trying my hand at lace) but I don't know what I really want to knit at the moment. I still have plastic bins full of yarns that I haven't even touched. Though some of the one's I'd like to work with are still in the hanks and from my first two tries at unwinding hanks I've learn my lesson on tackling them alone. Maybe I can convince K to help me at least get the smaller ones worked into usable balls. I'd have to ask really nicely. ^^; But even if they were in usable balls I'm still not sure I'd have the motivation to actually knit with them. I'm in kind of a pattern slump. I know I want to knit something just don't know what I want to do. I guess I should just focus on finishing my lace scarf then just see what happens. Maybe by then I'll be back into my other projects.

The only thing I'm dreading now is that cardigan. I'm at the point now where I don't know if I should re rip it it out again (would be the second time) to restart it. I'm only thinking this way because since I made the back panel I taught myself how to knit in the English method and now it's kind of obvious between when I started and where I picked it up again. The stitches look nice and even now and before hand they don't. ^^; Maybe I'll again put it aside and then decided what I want to do about it. I'm just debating now since it's not too far along so I wouldn't have much to rip out. To rip or not...that is the question! *sighs*

Aside from the knitting stuff I'm not sure how I feel about the new house hunting that's going on. K's been on house hunt for a little while now much to my surprise about a month ago. I guess I've still got mixed feelings about it because it was kind of out of the blue for me and I thought we'd have more time to look for one maybe in like a year or something but I guess it's not to be. I don't know how I'll get over the resentment of the whole situation. I think that's the way to sum up my feelings of it. I know he's trying to involve me in the choice of where we live but since he's going about it himself I feel a little put out with trying to help him find one. I don't know how to get over it. I know it's for our future but seems like it's rushing by so fast that I'm not really enjoying it. I'm trying to take everything day by day but still I'm not excited about anything really. We went out yesterday to look at a house and he was upset that I didn't show any feelings one way or the other about it. In my head I'm like how could I be when he's picking and choosing. I guess I feel that if it was his idea to go get a house then what I want really doesn't matter because of our previous conversations. He knew I wasn't really behind him and I guess it's hard for me to be happy about looking for something that I really don't have anything to do with. I can live anywhere and after all is said and done it would be his decision anyway. I guess I just have to wait till it all blows over and try to keep my resentment to myself and hope he doesn't try to dig too deep in trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

I just hope all passes soon.

Rose Dream

Originally uploaded by umbramystic

Here's a pic of me in the finally competed shrug! It was a simple shrug to knit up and would defiantly make again!


I did it!

After venting my frustrations out in a post I managed to finally figure out that lace pattern! Of course after I worked the first repeat I quickly deleted my post before it got responded to. ^^; I'm thinking my trouble came in when I was trying to do some of the decreases. I might not have knit together the correct number of stitches though I thought I had. *happy dance* I'm just glad I figured it out finally! Only took me like 6 times too! *hangs head*

I also finally finished my shrug too! *another happy dance* X3 Just have to upload the pictures to post. (hopefully sometime this week!) ^-^


Yay! I finally managed to finish knitting the body of the shrug that I've been working on. It's currently being blocked so all I have to do now is seam up the sides once it's dry! *happy dance* Pics will hopefully be up soon! :)

After finishing the shrug I'm now left with what to start knitting again. I tried a bunch of times to re-work this one lace pattern with not much success. Well I take that back I have been able to successfully knit up one repeat of the lace pattern but I forgot to knit the edging so I had to rip it out. (I did take a pic though to remind myself I can do it!) My problem is every time I knit it with the edging (2 rows of St st) and then start the lace pattern as it says I always end up with an extra stitch on the end. It's just frustrating because the one time I knit it without the edging I don't have any extra stitches and it knits up with no issues. So I don't' know what I'm doing wrong. :( I'll try again later when I'm less frustrated by that pattern.

I've managed to pick up knitting my two socks at once. Just not challenging enough for me at the moment since I'm working on the foot part so I'm kind of restless with new things to knit. I want to knit something else but not sure what I want to get my needles in. (besides that cursed lace pattern)




Well it seemed to be a 24 hour thing for both of us. After all the drama and stress we talked and are back on the same page. I tell ya things do look better after you've had a chance to rest and recover. Such is life though with it's ups and downs. Just hopefully over time they'll be more ups than downs.

Can't wait for the weekend to start. Just a few more hours of work to get through and I'll be free to kick back and do whatever. I'm almost finished with the body of my shrug just those few more inches to go then I start on the edges. It seems to be taking forever to finish but in actuality it hasn't taken me that much time to complete. I guess I've still been in reading mode that I've been slacking off on my knitting. I just hope to balance enough to finish it up this weekend so I can start wearing it. XD


Better to a degree

Things are starting to clam down between us now. I think the only hurdle I've got to get over now is shaking whatever I seemed to have come down with. It actually should have happened sooner I'm guessing since I haven't been eating regularly for a little while now. When I did eat I felt nauseous so that should have been my first clues that I was starting to get sick. It's weird though every time do get sick my body temperature lowers instead of rises. I've noticed that been happening a lot recently. *shrugs* Well I always knew my body was weird.

In a few more hours I get to go back home from work and hopefully be able to curl up in bed. That was my other sign that I'm not feeling well since the past two mornings I've been actually able to sleep in considering going to bed at a decent time. I just hope tonight I'll be able to have a restful sleep instead of being woken up at random times. Of course he'll have to stop fidgeting around in the first place for me to actually go to sleep....*sighs and crosses fingers thinking about this morning*

But other than that I've managed to make a little more progress on my shrug that I've been working on. Just 5 more inches to go with the body and then I can start picking up stitches along the sides to do the border. After that just have to block then seam together! X3 Yay! One project almost completed!



Things are starting to look up a little bit. I don't know how to really make things better because things will never really be completely better. I guess I shouldn't be so sensitive when it comes to things but I just can't seem to jump that hurdle when it smacks me in the face. I try to not let things get to me but sometimes it's like he says one thing then everything after that just keeps picking at it over and over again. Which makes me feel worse about myself. I know it shouldn't but it just continues to do so. I try to stick up for myself and it seems as if every time I do I just feel worse instead of better. Hopefully soon I'll be able to find some middle ground that we can both be happy with. Mostly for my sake since nothing seems to get him that upset which is also a irratant to me for some reason. *sighs* I've got to get a better control over myself and my emotions.